If a black guy treated you right and made you happy would you ever consider dating him? or are you strictly only a white guy person? because although people have preferences, they also have logic. I used to date white guys only, due to bad experience with black men and so on. But my hubby now is black, and I'm attracted to him in all sorts of ways. Granted I was sceptical at first because he was black...but yeah.
I hate how many times I have to write about this issue, so I’m going to detail a response that addresses all of the questions I’ve just had arrive in my inbox, not just yours;
All people are the same. Some white guys cheat and lie etc, so do some black guys. Skin colour has no affect on how you are as a person. I am talking about what I find sexy. Finding something different sexy doesn’t have to mean that you have a problem with yourself and it can be something very different to you (for example, a tall, skinny man can love short, overweight women without his love for himself being called into question). But it is also me acknowledging my shallow, physical requirements, which are something I find important because my sexuality and being turned on by my partner is important to me. Somebodys skincolour, is arguably just chance- no one chooses their skin colour and it doesn’t affect who you are internally. In the same way- some women are born with big breasts, and some have little ones… Just chance. Despite this it is perfectly acceptable for a man to say “I just don’t find big breasts sexy, I’m going to date women with small ones because that’s what I like”.
I think people think I have “decided” not to like black men, when what turns me on when I look at it is no more a choice than what music I like when I listen, or what food I like when I taste. And other peoples/society’s views on this have no effect whatsoever on how I feel. If I am out to dinner and the waiter asks me if I want parmesan on my pasta and I say “no thankyou” (which I would t say because the answer is ALWAYS yes, but anyway…) nobody asks why because it is assumed that what taste you find pleasing is something you cannot change and you have the right to specify. Some people may say “I can’t BELIEVEEEE you dont like parmesan” but the conversation would end there because you cant debate taste in this way, because reasoning doesn’t change an individuals personal preferences. For this reason I always find it pathetic when I hear people say for example “I only date black men” but a week later its “now I’m #teamwhiteboys” because I find it strange and impossible to believe that people choose what they like, as opposed to being free and just doing what they find most pleasing.
This is not a new thing for me, or a reaction to black men, I have only been with one black guy in my life (my first ever boyfriend, who I am still friends with) and since then I decided to be honest with myself about what I really like and exclusively date (older) white men, and I enjoy it :) I will also add that this line of questioning ONLY occurs with black women who like white men, and that all the Asian women who date white men or black men who date white women etc are free to pursue and enjoy their relationships without such a barrage of suspicion and scruity.